3rd Counselling Appointment

11am nearly. 3rd counselling appt, not sure how it'll go as I've had an up and down couple of weeks. Quiet Christmas, and the a quiet New Year. Feeling low a few times, then a bit of a mini-crisis last night. Not certain I want to go on, to be honest. Life can be a … Continue reading 3rd Counselling Appointment


New Year

I do not do resolutions. They generally weigh me down, and cause even more stress than normal. Plus, things change frequently, sometimes daily, sometime hourly. I have enough trouble keeping up with life from one moment to the other, never mind worrying about 2018 et al. I have not one clue what is going to … Continue reading New Year

52 Today

52 years. What have I done in 52 years? If I died now, who would miss me? What is my legacy? The end of 2017 is nigh. Am I any different to what I was 1 year ago? Is anything or anyone better because of me? Am I making a difference? Stop the world. I … Continue reading 52 Today

Negative Thoughts. Who Am I?

I'm trying to tackle my negativity, my automatic thought processes that tend to be - more often than not - negative. You know the type of thing. "Oh, look it's Monday again(!)" "Not Again!" "Treadmill time!" I'm a failure! I'm useless! I'm not a dad! I'm not rich! I have no savings! Why does Kim … Continue reading Negative Thoughts. Who Am I?

Anxiety & Introversion

So, I've had my initial appointment with Birmingham Healthy Minds. To find out what is the main problem and how to tackle it. Anxiety is the main problem. We both agree on this, and I've been referred for 1-2-1 CBT (Cognitive Behaviour Therapy). This is something I have done in the past, and it worked. … Continue reading Anxiety & Introversion

Not Up To Scratch

I've had enough. I do not want to do this anymore. The same old crap. The same old worries and doubts. The same old temptations. The same old victories and defeats. I'm not good enough. I sometimes think that Kim would be better off without me. I cannot do this anymore. Work, home, work, home, … Continue reading Not Up To Scratch

The Straw . . .

. . . that broke the camel’s back happened on Sunday. I was meant to help with the BBQ at church on Sunday. In fact, I had been looking forward to it. Volunteering for it to begin with. As the day drew close I began to feel a wee bit stressed, finally to the point … Continue reading The Straw . . .

Multiple Persons

How many people are you? I'm not talking about schizophrenia, I'm talking about the person you show to others. I'm a few different people dependant on the situation in which I find myself. I'm the work person, the son person, the brother person, the church person, the husband person, and probably a few more. So … Continue reading Multiple Persons

How many facets do we have?

 I don't even know which one is me, anymore. Introvert, lover, man, husband, coward. I have spent so long being afraid, I don't know how not to anymore. Afraid of life, of dying. Afraid of success and failure. Of work and no work. Afraid of winning and losing. I am afraid of gaining what I … Continue reading How many facets do we have?