Team away day at work today. Not my favourite thing. Sit in wee groups. Interact with each other. Do set tasks (working together), Learn more about work and the future, and more about each other. I managed to reach the second stop after catching the bus, and I had to alight. Panic Attack. I manage at … Continue reading Away Day (Nearly)
11am nearly. 3rd counselling appt, not sure how it'll go as I've had an up and down couple of weeks. Quiet Christmas, and the a quiet New Year. Feeling low a few times, then a bit of a mini-crisis last night. Not certain I want to go on, to be honest. Life can be a … Continue reading 3rd Counselling Appointment
I Hate New Year. Was very down & depressed last night. Bed at 9:15pm. New day, new thoughts. Happy new year to you all. I hope it's all a good one. There will be ups & downs, successes & failures, good & bad. I have a beautiful wife, both parents, a brother, a home, fairly … Continue reading Here We Go . . .
So, d'you want to stop your addiction? Do you need to stop your addiction? Do you look upon it as an addiction? I know that there is one thing I wish I could stop, but after all these years . . . it has become second nature. Much like the rest of how I live … Continue reading Addictions (II)
I do not do resolutions. They generally weigh me down, and cause even more stress than normal. Plus, things change frequently, sometimes daily, sometime hourly. I have enough trouble keeping up with life from one moment to the other, never mind worrying about 2018 et al. I have not one clue what is going to … Continue reading New Year
52 years. What have I done in 52 years? If I died now, who would miss me? What is my legacy? The end of 2017 is nigh. Am I any different to what I was 1 year ago? Is anything or anyone better because of me? Am I making a difference? Stop the world. I … Continue reading 52 Today
My last posting was a bit of a waffle. Me doing my usual and branching off in all sorts of directions and not really putting across what I originally intended. I'm trying again - Negative thoughts have become second nature. I am trying to put that right. I'm attending counselling. I am reading some publications … Continue reading What I meant to say . . .
I'm trying to tackle my negativity, my automatic thought processes that tend to be - more often than not - negative. You know the type of thing. "Oh, look it's Monday again(!)" "Not Again!" "Treadmill time!" I'm a failure! I'm useless! I'm not a dad! I'm not rich! I have no savings! Why does Kim … Continue reading Negative Thoughts. Who Am I?
Been up to Kilmarnock these past 4 days or so. An elder in our church in Kilmarnock passed away, and it was his funeral last Friday. A good man, a man of God. Not necessarily a teacher, but a worker. A doer. Putting his gists into action for God. A full house on the day, … Continue reading Stuff . . . and a funeral
About to start work. Underlying feeling of dread is all-pervasive. I'm hoping for a call really ongoing Anxiety/mental health problems this morning. It may be tomorrow. I don't want to do this anymore. I am scared. I am anxious. I am... Right. I do not have much choice. Here we. 😳😩