I was woken up this morning by the alarm. This doesn't happen too often, I'm more in the habit of lying there waiting for it. Listening to one of the dogs snoring, or being pushed out of bed by the other one. I've been having some really weird dreams over the past few months. Involving … Continue reading Friday At Last . . .
Team away day at work today. Not my favourite thing. Sit in wee groups. Interact with each other. Do set tasks (working together), Learn more about work and the future, and more about each other. I managed to reach the second stop after catching the bus, and I had to alight. Panic Attack. I manage at … Continue reading Away Day (Nearly)
11am nearly. 3rd counselling appt, not sure how it'll go as I've had an up and down couple of weeks. Quiet Christmas, and the a quiet New Year. Feeling low a few times, then a bit of a mini-crisis last night. Not certain I want to go on, to be honest. Life can be a … Continue reading 3rd Counselling Appointment
As a Christian I should not be afraid. I should not let my heart be troubled. As far as God is concerned, I don't. I believe in Him and His salvation, and His plans for the future. In fact I'm more than ready to go. I'm more than ready to begin the next chapter. I've … Continue reading Fear (And a prayer).
So, d'you want to stop your addiction? Do you need to stop your addiction? Do you look upon it as an addiction? I know that there is one thing I wish I could stop, but after all these years . . . it has become second nature. Much like the rest of how I live … Continue reading Addictions (II)
I do not do resolutions. They generally weigh me down, and cause even more stress than normal. Plus, things change frequently, sometimes daily, sometime hourly. I have enough trouble keeping up with life from one moment to the other, never mind worrying about 2018 et al. I have not one clue what is going to … Continue reading New Year
Why do things have to change? Why do things have to end? Why is there pain? Why is there suffering? Why do I have to worry so much? Why are people so nasty? Why is there heartache? Why can I not be happy? Why can I not accept praise? Why is it time to move … Continue reading Why?
52 years. What have I done in 52 years? If I died now, who would miss me? What is my legacy? The end of 2017 is nigh. Am I any different to what I was 1 year ago? Is anything or anyone better because of me? Am I making a difference? Stop the world. I … Continue reading 52 Today
I'm trying to tackle my negativity, my automatic thought processes that tend to be - more often than not - negative. You know the type of thing. "Oh, look it's Monday again(!)" "Not Again!" "Treadmill time!" I'm a failure! I'm useless! I'm not a dad! I'm not rich! I have no savings! Why does Kim … Continue reading Negative Thoughts. Who Am I?
About to start work. Underlying feeling of dread is all-pervasive. I'm hoping for a call really ongoing Anxiety/mental health problems this morning. It may be tomorrow. I don't want to do this anymore. I am scared. I am anxious. I am... Right. I do not have much choice. Here we. 😳😩